Dichotomies by Jess Senanayake
When I arrive at Aunty’s
she says, Take, eat,
you’ll be hungry after such a long journey
She’s right - 5000 miles from London to Kingston makes for more than an empty stomach,
so, I oblige. Good girl
I know better than to argue back.
Aunty is a prophet in the kitchen.
I gaze upon a feast fit for 5000, table so full
you can barely fit a plate, callalooandbiriyanianddumplings
challenge each other for the title of centrepiece.
My right hand guides me to curry goat and sambal, scoop
thumb pushes into my mouth. chew, swallow begins a cycle my muscles know and love by heart.
I take my final gulp and beg aunty to let me stop, bloated
and bracing for the inevitable round two, if not now, later with the cousins. She has no words for
me, only silently
she turns to Uncle and ushers him to the tree,
to pick a mango, the perfect one, just for me
who has travelled far across the seas for these flavours.
Aunty purses her lips. (steups) you are getting fat
These words, they freeze me. She, the hand who feeds me utters this with such ease
as if she has no idea how it feels to be a player of this dichotomy. I want to say
what a joy it is to have flesh hanging
from my colonised bones when the ancestors
were kept from doing so
this is the dichotomy, my driving force for self-love. Aunty,
we are the same. Our curves
symmetrical, island waves cascade down our figures,
stalwart like Sigiriya.
I haven’t eaten the mango yet. I’m staring at it, big and bulbous, bright thing.
I pray Aunty sings herself worship,
rejoices in her body the way I do everyday.
Words by Jess Senanayake | IG @jesssenanayake | TW @jess_senanayake
Jess Senanayake (she/they) is an award-winning theatre maker and poet. As a poet, she has been commissioned by initiative.dkf, and is an Associate Artist of Half a Girl Productions. Her theatre making spans a range of disciplines, including Producing, Performance, Stage Management and Dramaturgy.
Selected credits include:
The PappyShow’s 10th Birthday Pit Party (Barbican), A Playlist for the Revolution (Bush Theatre), NO I.D (VAULT Festival), Dark Matter (VAULT Festival - Origins Award), RIDE - A New Musical (Charing Cross Theatre), A Monster Calls (UK and US Tour), and The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe (UK Tour).
Images by Aviv Hirsch | @doodlelesbian
